Setting myself up

It's always a problem when you possess two "oxymoronic" personality traits such as laziness and high expectations and thus you end up setting yourself up for some kind of fabulous unexpectedness or total dissapointment.

July 2nd has been Baby Price 2.0's EDD (Estimated Due Date) since the very beginning, I've ignored all "measuring farther ahead" and "June 20th" altered due dates at any appointments and focused solely (insert high expectation here) on July 2nd and only July 2nd and total refusal to accept any alternative.   Except after July 2nd.  That would also be OK.

See, due to pretty crappy benefits that are offered under my short term disability plan at work, knowing that we would want to have a second baby, I searched for additional coverage so that when Baby 2.0 was going to come out, perhaps it would be a more financially comfortable setting knowing that I am HORRIBLE at saving (laziness) but always want a beach vacation every year (high expectations) ..that doesn't happen.  So I enroll in extra benefits through Aflac that become effectice September 1st, 2010.  I sign in July, after seeking additional benefits since May and September 1st is the effective date.  For this particular policy to "pay out" under PREGNANCY, the policy must be effective for a minimum of 10 months.

This particular policy will pay out somewhere around the 3K range.  Pretty nice if I can swing it.  That was the plan.  My high expectation was to be comfortable on maternity leave, my laziness has lead to possible disappointment.

Let's do some math now.

9/1/10 + 10 months = 7/1/11

My EDD for Baby 2.0 = 7/2/11

Tiny non existent font type and size disclaimer "cannot deliver baby on or before July 1st, 2011 in order for policy to pay out."

So, in summary:  (Hesitating 5 months to get additional coverage) laziness + high expectations (that the plan will actually pay out for me on this probability) = awesomeness ($3,000 of additional comfort and bliss while recovering from deciding to have a second child)/fail (no additional $3,000).

>7/1/11 = $3K

<7/1/11 = $0

I really know how to cut it close don't I?

I'm two weeks away from EDD at 38 weeks or, 2 weeks to go.  Joseph was born on his original due date, so, statistically speaking, I have a higher likelihood of delivering Baby 2.0 on my due date, when you don't take into account how the baby has been measuring somewhere in late June delivery date or that this is my second child and these second babies tend to just "walk right on out of there."

Every little twinge, or tightness, symptom or sign, I get an "oxymoronic" gush of feelings, excitement that "this could be it", followed by "oh shit, not for another x days."

I've toyed with the above odds of the actual result being that I get the pay out, the baby is born on July 2nd (or later) and I get to live on maternity leave under "unexpected/expected awesomeness."  

The odds aren't good.

And everyday that I get closer to my $3K and July 2nd, I get just that little bit more anxious.  It's harder to deal with, so close, but yet so far.

I talk to the baby a lot.  I promise it wonderful things like an abundant supply of breast milk, lots of monochromatic geometric shapes to look at, fresh diapers on the hour, every hour, and it's very first trip to the beach with it's older brother.  I say calmly and soothingly "July 2nd, little one, July 2nd, it's so loud out here, it's so soft and warm in there... Just stay in until July 2nd or later and I promise I'll take you and your big brother to the beach, that he's been begging for since snowy mid-February."

I have totally set myself up.

It's likely that this little bundle of joy will appear minutes or days before the pay day, that's truly where the highest odds are.  But, I'm a gambling gal, I can't help but place that $5 "to win" bet on that one long shot, so that one day, just one day, I can cash out, leave early, ride that limo home from the race track, eat my steak dinner and have my creme brulee too.

July 2nd, baby.  July 2nd.  Fingers and toes crossed.  I'm also accepting any kind of hippie naturalistic dances and/or help from the occult, duct tape and keeping exercise to an absolute minimum (like walking from my front door to my car door.)

Having these dueling or completely conflicting strong personality traits is a problem, a 3K problem, that only Baby Price 2.0 can ultimately decide on which one wins.  "With great risk, comes great reward."  A 3K reward, to be precise.  Time to talk to the baby again, promises, promises.