Another tale from the drop off/pick up line. Sounds like Car Talk's personal limo driver, the Russian one.... (if you listen to car talk on NPR you will get that.)
So, every morning, when I drop off #1 at the school car pool line, there's these guys, I assume DADs that are hanging out in the cross walk, likely talking about last night's game or I dunno, not talking, cuz guys don't communicate...
But there they are.
I have seen them every day and I draw lots of conclusions about who they are and what they do, based on their physical appearance and the fact that my brain has nothing else more constructive to do with it's time as I sit and wait for just the right moment to creep through the crossing before the banshee crossing guard deems my act insufferable and goes all bat shit crazy on my hood again. I think she's given me PTCGSD (post traumatic crossing guard stress disorder) Bitch.
S.W.A.T. Dad, League Dad and P90X Dad. Here are their stories. As made up and told, by me.
SO there's S.W.A.T. Dad. He's always got a silver travel coffe mug, even when it was warmer, he wore a beanie over what I can assume is only a slickly shaved bald head, and has a dark goatee. He's also about 6'4" and 250 and wears only dark clothing. The bald head, the beanie, the tough travel mug, he looks like he just got off LPD S.W.A.T. Duty the night before.
P90X Dad. Slightly balding, but still a lot of hair, always wearing tightly or slim fitting clothing. He's NOT buff, he's very trim, but you can tell, also very muscular, and he knows it. Always the last one to join the group. He also drives a very SMALL, SHORT and FAST sports car. For, him, I think that's what she said if you get my drift... Looks like what a dude at his age would be if they went through P90X, and completed it, and stayed on top of it, and it became his ENTIRE FOCUS. He looks really into it. The car, the conscious clothing choices, yeah, he's not beating up low life's like S.W.A.T. dad, he's beating up punching bags, so he can stay fit.
|Yesh, this is pretty accurate of P90X dad, though I don't know who the hell this guy is.|
Then, there's League Dad. He looks like a guy from The League. Dead on. I swear.
He's hanging out with S.W.A.T. Dad, about 500 below sea level compared to him, and is the most animated of them all. He's likely the only one who is talking, and then talking about his league win or trade and how Shiva is finally going to be his this season. S.W.A.T. Dad and P90X dad always seem unamused, but yet entertain his lively talks.
League Dad is business dressed everyday, ready to continue his league talks in the cubicles surrouding his little cube at work. He's all jazzed up, had his coffee, got his "man talk on with his dudes" that morning at the car pool line and is ready to hit the paperwork, hard, man, totally hard dude, paperwork sucks, man. "These TPS reports are so inefficient." He asks S.W.A.T. Dad and P90X dad if they ever want to grab a "java" outside of school drop off line, S.W.A.T. Dad asks what the "fucking hell is java?" and P90X dad, says, "No, I've got to re-do day 35 of day 90 because my lunge-squat-press ups weren't up to par on my glueteus maximus this morning."
That doesn't deter League dad, he's just as eager to continue talking to his peeps about whatever they are going to cut him off mid sentence about.
Ok, so none of this is actually really harsh judgement, what I do want to mention is how I really appreciate that there are dads that take the time out of their morning that can, to supervise my tiny #1 kindergarten baby bear as he gets from my car and walks 1/4 mile to his school. They stand there and make me feel a little better about letting my little one go every morning. SO I really appreciate them. Even if P90X dad thinks he's the coolest.