Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Cooking for People who'd rather be DRINKING.

So I can cook now.  All it took was a $20 Williams Sonoma Apron, a sudden emphatic bi-polar type mood upswing and the energy to go shopping at the grocery store with two kids and promise myself "cook dinner or BUST", and I cooked dinner.  And it was edible.  AND it was delicious.  AND I am going to do it again. AND it wasn't just spaghetti.

Always wait 24 hours before saying cooking was a success, I say.  That's how long it can potentially take for salmonella or other bad cooking to show up on/in your guests.  (=The level of faith I have in my cooking, yes.)  But today, today I feast on the glorys of a meal well done, well prepared, well cooked, and totally gone. 

Today, I am cooking GODDESS.

Today, I am running on a delicious hand made meal post-high.  Did I mention this meal was hand-made?  BY ME? 

Oh yeah.
(Yes, Dave Chappelle Rick James reference).

I'm going to start a label in my blog called "Cooking for People who'd rather be DRINKING."  This section of the blog will include my kitchen experiments that end in disaster or perfection, that always includes a bottle of alcohol, and the fact that I would, absolutely, most surely, rather be drinking, than slaving over a hot stove/watching water boil - but I'm going to do it anyway.  I'm going to be cooking, though I'd rather just be drinking.

I'm going to be a the woman who has it all dammit, clean, well-behaved children, hopelessly romantic husband, old dog that doesn't pee on the floor - yes, I'm going to have it ALL! 
I am going to:  COOK DINNER OR BUST.  Most nights, or just when I can, or just when I have one of those bi-polar type mood upswings again. 

I can't promise that this area won't include dinner that involves garlic pretzels and Nutella.  Head's up on that one.  I also don't promise that my five year old and 18 month old will love these meals, they are EDIBLE and tasty, but I'm not a short order cook, so the children have to suffer through eating adult meals and can pull as many faces as they'd like while doing it.

You can expect photos of REAL food, none of that "Barbara Walters" filter that makes food look totally appetizing and unachiev-able.  Real, creative displays of presentation, even if it SUCKS and actual techniques that include following a recipe, drinking, forgetting a step, trying to undo what you've done by adding too much garlic powder, drinking more and total exhasperation/and/or/success bliss.

Most importantly it will be fully representative of my minor skillset with cooking and food that you can replicate if it's deemed edible.  Ingredients, shit you'll need that might be in your house and has cobwebs on it and, hilarity.  I promise food, sarcasm and hilarity, afterall, it's only funny until someone get's hurt, then, it's HILARIOUS.

So if you need to cook dinner, but you'd rather be drinking, this might be the area of my blog that's just ice ice baby for you.

Up First:  Chipotle Cilantro Shrimp over a bed of Avocado and Lime Orzo.  Or as the lady who'd rather be drinking than cooking shall call it: Avocado Orzo and Grilled Shrimp.  I'll have to start a whole new post for this one, you've already skipped to the end here expecting a recipe.  So just come back next time you jerk, and take the time to scroll up and read my sarcastic self depricating cooking references above.

Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal.

No comments:

Post a Comment