Already?

If you are thinking about having another baby you'll catch yourself watching TLC's a baby story, finding articles on the internet about birth stories and trying to remember where you stashed all your "while I was pregnant last time" literature. Ever since Joseph was born Paul and I had always talked about the next one, whenever Joseph was about 2.5, I remember clearly about 2 years ago in April thinking only one more October until we start trying again. It is like the second baby has slowly crept up on us, every day I have thought about the second one. I can't do this, I can do this, I'm crazy, well I was crazy last time and I did it then. I'm not really sure I want another one, but I wasn't really sure about the first one either. I just know I didn't NOT want one, and that's how I feel again this time. It's just amazing how time has crept up on me. It is the middle of September and I've procrastinated about losing 10lbs since a year ago and if I'm going to do it, I've got about 6 weeks. B/c then I jsut need to get used to the idea of being fat and pregnant....again....
I remember LAST October like a "one year and counting bec..." oh god now it's like 4 weeks and counting bec... SHEESH!

WOW time has really escaped me. I can't believe I am on the cusp of getting ready to have another baby, already - Joseph is more than 6 months old? WTF? When did that happen?
Time seriously needs to slow down, just a little bit. I'm enjoying Joseph so much I don't want to take away from that, I don't want to be too vomitus that I can't make him oatmeal in the morning, I don't want to sleep through his latest effort at a one man band marching band. Oh I can think of a million things I have to lose out on this time around.
Last time I could be vomitous and miss an episode of BSG oh well thank god for DVR. Or I could sleep through an entire lunch break - who needs food while you're pregnant anyway, the baby is going to take what it wants and then make you throw up the rest anyway. NOW I've got Joseph, I don't want to miss out on anything. And THEN I don't want to be distracted in my pregnancy, see second time around I get to do it all right, know exactly what to expect and do it better, do it MY way.

What if I can't eat all the chocolate I want to this time? What if I don't lose all the baby weight as quickly as I did last time? What if I actually have problems? What if we have a girl?

Mostly I just cant' get over how it is time, it is time now when we said we would try for another one. Already. Panic.